Up Scheidt Creek

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TRIVIA:

Poet and pre-Raphaelite painter Dante Gabriel Rosetti loved his wife, Elizabeth. (“How much did he love his wife, you ask?”) Well, after she died of a laudanum overdose in 1862, he buried her with the only existing copy of his unpublished poems. Seven years later, however, Rosetti found himself suffering from a really bad case of writers’ block, so he dug up her body and retrieved his poems. They were published in 1870 and were well received by critics, but he never forgave himself for pilfering her grave.

…Yuck. I woulden be digin up nobody, ues tryin real hard ta recollect what I wrote inna first place. That don’ sound like a lotta love ta me, diggin her up an all. Now, ya want a man what loves his wife, take ole Rufus. He does anythin she wants. Last year, he even went an spent good money on pet beds fer them spoiled rotten poodle dogs a hers, when any fool knows dogs perfer ta lie onna old blanket er a patch a hay. Pure foolish, it was.

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TRIVIA:

Dog tags are always worn in pairs in case of the unthinkable; one tag remains with the body, and the other is sent to Mortuary Affairs.

…well, ain’t THAT a cheery thought. Nobody best be tellin ole Miles Humpersnoot’s boy bout that. He be all ready ta go inta t’ army, fer t’ paychecks, cause he wants ta set him up a garage when he gits out. Has ta buy all them newfangled air tools an gadgets fer it. Stayin home onna farm ain’t good nuff fer him, nor lotsa younger folks neither, these days. Pity.

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TRIVIA:

When you pick up a common “pine cone,” you’d be correct to refer to it as “she,” since these brown, seeded cones are all female.

…heh, an I bet t’ men folks be claimin t’ pine cone cain’t make up they minds, an thats why they be fallin outa t’ tree. Kinda makes me mad when I hears em say sech bout women folks, an I would be speakin’ out, but I knows a couple women folks what matches they description, durn em. Like Miss Maggie, she coulden never make up her mind on nothin. Dumber n’ a box a rocks, too. Her husband tole her he ordered some Grohe faucets fer t’ indoor outhouse, an she thinked he were gonna GROW faucets an were watchin t’ garden stead a t’ mail box. Some folks jes never learn nothin.

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TRIVIA:

In 1846, the London Daily News became the city’s newest newspaper. Its editor-in-chief was none other than author Charles Dickens.

…I don’ have much use fer news papers. Only thang I ever used em fer, were when t’ kids was babies, an my ole man has lef’ some onna floor when he were done wi’ em, an t’ laundry wasn’ dry yet, they was my answer ta disposable diapers. They be purty good under t’ cat box too. Other n’ that, no use atall. I shore ain’t never had time ta set down an READ em.

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TRIVIA:

In addition to the four known taste sensations (bitter, salty, sour and sweet), some scientists now include a fifth, called “umami,” best represented by the MSG flavoring added to certain foods.

…MSG? Ain’t that a disease? I kin swear I seen it on one a them bits a medical jewelry the doc’s office has samples of, that they be tryin ta git folks ta wear when they got somethin powerful wrong wi’ em. Spose ta make t’ doc’s work easier iffen he cain’t tell right off what they got. Seems ta me t’ doc oughter be able ta tell right off. He be a doc, don’t he? It be his JOB ta know, bracelet er not.

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TRIVIA:

The first European settlement in America wasn’t St. Augustine or Jamestown, but San Miguel de Guadalupe, on the coast near what is today the Ga.-S.C. border. Built in 1526, it failed after only six months.

…seem like I mighta read bout that in one a them little history tidbits they allus be sendin wi’ them there Wilmington real estate ads I be gittin bout ever month er so. Wonder how come they ain’t all famous when they was first, like Plymouth Rock? That be so famous they done named a car after it, an a kind a chicken too. Guess they had better ad folks ta tell it fer em.

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TRIVIA:

In 1941, the U.S. government banned silk stockings. Why? After Japan cut off America’s silk supply during World War II, the government decided that producing silk parachutes for American pilots outranked women’s fashion needs.

…yeah, an wasn’t they a hue an cry bout that. Seem like they was women ready ta lose the durn war iffen they coulden have they stockins too. Not atall like that there other war, where folks was makin handcrafted jewelry an other sech nonsense wi’ peace signs on em, yellin make love not war, when all they rilly meant were gimme sex an a lotta drugs.

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TRIVIA:

The depressed area of skin under your nose and above your upper lip is called your philtrum.

…well, I’ll be. Now, why in tarnation ya figger they be insistin’ on namin’ somethin’ like that? I cain’t figger folks needin ta describe it. Even doctors jes say, right under yer nose. T’ name puts me in mind a drug store ads, like them “Phentermine without prescription” ones I be gittin’ alla time. Don’ sound like no body part, nohow.

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TRIVIA:

The hippopotamus is considered to be the most dangerous animal in Africa. Hippos kill more humans annually than lions, crocodiles or snakes.

…woulden think it ta look at em, now, would ya. Them there thangs looks so cute an cuddly. I be guessin they is bigger than they looks inna pictures, since I ain’t never seen one mysel’. There’s one in that there magazine onna table, right onna same page wi’ t’ ad about lipovox reviews. Reckon iffen that be somethin’ they do ta t’ hippos? Ain’t never heard a such, but ain’t never knowed t’ criiters was mean neither. Mayhap they ain’t. Folks allus be talkin’ bout how mean bulls be too, an I ain’t never knowed a mean one, lessen folks go outa they way ta MAKE it mean. Mistreat any animal an it be meaner’n a coon inna prickly bag.

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TRIVIA:

The notorious Roman emperor Nero was also a wannabe musician. He employed 5,000 knights and soldiers to accompany him on his concert tours just to applaud his brilliant lyre-playing skills.

…well, that be one way ta be sure ya got a good audience. I knows a kid named Nero, but he ain’t no emperor. He be allus tryin ta talk ya inta thangs. Seems like I remember he plays a mean fiddle, though, but when he be talkin, ya cain’t even tell what he be talkin about. Like, what t’ heck is used cisco anyhow? I ain’t got no idear attall.

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