Up Scheidt Creek

Welcome back!

TRIVIA:

Your odds of being killed in a tornado are 1 in 2 million.

…unless ya live here in Tornado Alley, mebbe. Round here, yer odds be a might higher. Most folks got t’ sense ta git down inna root cellar when t’ winds start ta blow. Kinda hard ta git t’ animals ta take t’ steps, though. Last year Jack Percy had a ram an’ a couple a donkeys what wound up two counties over.

If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!

TRIVIA:

In 2005, each person in the world consumed, on average, 77 beverages made by The Coca-Cola Company.

…wonder who been drinkin all my soda pops? I usta drink one ever so offen when I were a kid, but they be kinda hard ta come by round here. Now, Mamie Planter’s oldest girl, she be drinkin em alla time. She be t’ one what be goin ta that there massage therapy schools place down Detroit way. Mamie shore be proud a that girl, but fer what I know, Mamie ain’t never been outa t’ hills. Heaven help that girl iffen Mamie ever figgers out what a massage parler is.

If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!

Have you ever tried to find a place to design a logo for your business cards? Not easy finding someone who can come up with exactly what you want, is it? Well, there is a website that makes logo design easy and affordable. By letting you choose your own design parts and construct your logo any way you like it, they not only make sure you get exactly what you want, but they cut out the middle man, making things a WHOLE lot cheaper. Their online designer is quite user friendly, too. Just look at what I was able to do!

If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!

TRIVIA:

A pipe organ was the loudest sound that could be made in the year 1600.

…yeah, an it still be one a th’ purtiest sounds kin be made, no matter how many lectric keyboards ya come up wi’. Lotsa time t’ oldest ways be best. An they figger it out, too, but they don’ be lettin on that they be knowin it. Jes check t’ papers iffen ya don’ b’lieve it. It be all over em. Look here, this ad be fer Pedestal sinks . They ain’t new, but they be sellin em like they come up wi’ t’ idear they own self. I recollect when everyone were gittin rid a them there sinks ta git t’ cabinet an counter type ones. Well, I got me one a then so called new sinks in t’ bathroom in there, but it be a lot older then t’ folks what wrote t’ ads here.

If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!

TRIVIA:

Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married.

…well, don’ that jes beat all. Ain’t no truth in advertisin no more atall, that be what that is. Think on it. They either be lyin to ya er tryin ta sell ya what ya don need no way. Lookit this here ad fer lamplight. Best outdoor lighting on t’ market, they says. Cain’t git no better. Betcha it kin. God made t’ best outdoor lighting fer at night. Called it t’ moon. Bet these here cain’t hold a candle ta THAT, now do ya think?

If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!

TRIVIA:

In the year 2000, Pope John Paul II was named an “Honorary Harlem Globetrotter”!

…ain’t they them horsey folks, what rides round in that there, what d’ they call it.. equestrian clothing? Nah, I’m gettin em confused wi’ someone else. I never kin keep them famous folks apart. I know who t’ Pope be, though, even iffen I ain’t Cathlic. But them other folks, naw, I jes cain’t place em atall.

If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!

TRIVIA:

The U.S. ranks 29th in overall life expectancy, which is 78 years.

…well, that ain’t right. Must be they talkin bout city folks agin. Even Auntie Sadie be older m’ that, an she be inna prime a life, ta hear her tell it. She shore be expectin ta be round a few more years. Her mother, now, that be another story. They had ta buy her one a them there newfangled bath lift last year, cause she coulden haul herself up outa t’ washtub no more. But that be more her likin fer sweets then it be her age, I be thinkin.

If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!

TRIVIA:

Lead guitarist for Queen, Brian May, dropped out of a physics PhD at Imperial College London to follow the path to rock stardom. He finally completed his thesis in 2007, so that is ‘Dr’ to you and me.

….long as he ain’t t’ doctor who keeps them there thangs comin at me inna mailbox, I don’ keer. Iffen he be THAT doctor, I wanna give him a piece a my mind. Ain’t they got no better use fer paper an ink then ta be sendin out ad papers, like this here one bout lipovox, ta folks what ain’t sick? Ain’t no sense in it, none atall, cause even iffen ya want t’ stuff, ya gotta go ask t’ doctor ya goes ta fer it, an iffen he wants ya on somethin else, alla ads inna world ain’t gonna git it fer ya. They oughter be sendin these ta th’ doctors stead a me, that’s what.

If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!

TRIVIA:

Since octopi have no bones, their bodies are incredibly flexible. They can slither through openings not much bigger than their eyeballs.

…ain’t got no use fer them there critters, mostly cause I ain’t never seen one. Don’ know nobody what has, neither, an I figger any folks what did would shore be talkin on it, an loud. Ain’t never heard a this here thang what come inna mailbox, neither, some paper warnin me all bout t’ dangers a mesothelioma, whatever t’ heck that be. Some kinda sickness, I figger. Shoot, I ain’t sick an don be plannin on it. An why they gotta go namin old sicknesses new names, anyhow? Seem like they allus be renamin somethin, makin it like it be new, when it been here all along. Don’ make no sense.

If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!

TRIVIA:

In 10 minutes, a hurricane releases more energy than all of the world’s nuclear weapons combined.

…yeah? Well, iffwn they be lookin fer a way ta git power, they oughter ignore t’ hurricanes an find a way ta bottle alla hot air comin outa them folks what got nothin better ta do then git in yer face an try an talk ya outa yer money. Payday money folks, mortgage lenders, that kind. Gits plum aggravain, answerin t’ phone these days.

If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!