Up Scheidt Creek

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DOCTOR TRIVIA:

The "caduceus" the classical medical symbol of two serpents wrapped
around a staff - comes from an ancient Greek legend in which snakes
revealed the practice of medicine to human beings.

….jes the fact that they use snakes to show what they is proves ya
can’t trust no doctors. Never met no snake I liked, nor no doctor
neither. Theys always pokin an proddin an sayin things like ya got the
vapors when any darn fool knows its jes gas from all them butter beans
last night. They done that ta Uncle Flem an he was all worried til
nature took its course an he figgered out the doctor was fulla hooey.

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TRVIA TIDBIT:

George Washington’s favorite horse was named Lexington. Napoleon’s
favorite was Marengo. U.S. Grant had three favorite horses: Egypt,
Cincinnati, and Jeff Davis.

…never had no favorite horse. Pa’s plowhoses was mean. Had me a
favorite cow onxet, till she come down wit milk fever an went belly up.
Name was Gertrude. Named her after my Granmammy, cause they had bout the
same teperment.

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TODAY’S TURKEY:

Domesticated turkeys (farm raised) cannot fly. Wild turkeys can fly for
short distances at up to 55 miles per hour. Wild turkeys are also fast
on the ground, running at speeds of up to 25 miles per hour.

…thought everone knew that. Mus be some dumb hicks out there, if they
gotta be told. My pa used ta hunt them little wild birds. Oncet, he took
my brother. Brother don’t know beans about turkey an got him a turkey
buzzard instead, Nasty, cause when you shoot one, it flies over an pukes
up what its been eatin all over you. Its true. I seen it myself.

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AND TODAY:

All pet hamsters are descended from a single female wild golden hamster
found with a litter of 12 young in Syria in 1930.

…..ain’t heard of no Syria. Sounds heathen ta me. Probly one a then
cities like Sodom and Gomorah, or New Jersey. Heathen. Why else would
they wanna send us them furry rats? Snakes want rats, not me. Syria
should oughta be made ta keep the rats or come kill em off in civilised
towns. Hmph.

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TODAY’S WISDOM:

A Cornish game hen is really a young chicken, usually 5 to 6 weeks of
age, that weighs no more than 2 pounds.

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TODAY’S STUFF:

Forty-six percent of the world’s water is in the Pacific Ocean; that’s
around 6 sextillion gallons of water. The Atlantic has 23.9 percent; the
Indian, 20.3; the Arctic, 3.7 percent.

…..Don’t know as I believe that, myself. Seems like there is a awful
lotta water down yonder in the swamps. I gotta go there ever so often an
battle the skeeters to get sa bottle a stump water for to cure my warts.
My warts is a powerdul bother to me, some days. Bet that old ocean water
don’t do nothin fer warts. Nor skeeter bites neither.

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AND AS IF YA DIDN’T KNOW:

As of 1996, Hee Haw holds the record for the longest running weekly
first-run syndicated show in the history of television. It spanned over
4 decades, from the late ’60s to the early ’90s, airing every Saturday
night at 7:00.

……Well, acourse. Who woulden know THAT? Saturday nights Pa used ta
take us kids down the hill to Cousin Mable’s, an we always seen it
there. Cousin Mable was rich. She done had a TV AND a radio.

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TODAY’S TIDBIT:

A dentist invented the electric chair.

……Hmph. Don’t surprise ME none. Them dentists is always lookin fer
ways to take the joy outa life, like doctors. THIS dentist don’t jusr
wanna take the joy, he wants the life too. Figers. Don’t need dentists
no way. Here’s an extra tip fer ya. Smear clove oil on a hirtin tooth an
it don’t hurt no more. Dentists. Bah.

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TO GET US STARTED:

An acre of coffee trees can produce up to 10,000 pounds of coffee
cherries. That amounts to approximately 2000 pounds of beans after
hulling or milling.

…….Well….who’da thunk? Seems to me they should oughta stick to
cotton an corn. Nore use. Animals don’t eat no coffee beans an’ ya can’t
wear em neither. Couldn’t never grow no coffee on these here rocks,
nohow. Bet the deer would be likin’ it, though.

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Hello, and welcome to Up Scheidt Creek. Here, you will find an ever
growing collection of odd facts, useless information and assorted other
tidbits, all with my delightful hickabilly commentary. Now, while the
trivia itself is, as far as I know, factual, don’t you be takin’ my
comments for true all the time. We ain’t really THAT uncivilized here.
We evn got us an indoor outhouse.

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