Up Scheidt Creek

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When I brought in the eggs, I asked about what appeared to be a witch’s cauldron out in the yard which had a large amount of what appeared to be white fluff around it on the ground. I was informed that it was a pot for boiling the feathers off of chickens, or something like that. I might have known. She forces me to make friends with the chickens and then threatens their lives. And what are we having for supper? Fried chicken. I hope all my mother’s televisions show only infomercials forevermore. She deserves it for sending me to this place!

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TRIVIA:

The term “Continental breakfast” was coined to differentiate between the fried eggs, bacon and beans (served in a typical English breakfast) from the dainty pastries, coffee and juice offered throughout the rest of Europe.

…sounds better though, don’ it. Ya gotta wonder what kinda sales training they be givin these folks when they kin make a meal what ain’t enuff ta feed a mouse sound better then one what will see ya through t’ mornin. Don’ git why folks be wantin beans fer breakfast though. Seem ta me t’ effects could mess up yer whole day.

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TRIVIA:

Ayds, an appetite-suppresant candy in the 1970s lost 50 percent of its sales when a similarly named virus hit the scene in the 80s. But how did the woefully-named product rebound? By changing their name to “Diet Ayds.”

…sounds like somethin m’ little guest here woulda been interested in iffen she had been born back then. She jes don’ stop on stuff like that there. Last week she done gone an ordered her one a them there newfangled treadmills cause she4 say she don’ walk round enuff. Ask me, she could jes start jumpin up an doin some chores round here, an she woulden have ta be worryin none.

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TRIVIA:

K” is an important letter to pronounce correctly when chatting with a Russian bartender. “Voda” is water, while “Vodka” is a beverage that’s just a little bit stronger.

…now woulden that be a fit iffen t’ wrong folks got hold a it. T’ same feller what sells bandages an incontinence products an sech down t’ that there fancy clinic inna valley, he brings em bottled water Too, like spring water ain’t good enuff. Woulden that jes being em up short iffen someone made that there mistake!

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TRIVIA:

Technically, green peppers, zucchini, cucumbers, and tomatoes are all fruits. But don’t try telling that to the U.S. Supreme Court. Per the 1893 case Nix v. Hedden, the court decided tomatoes were veggies and therefore subject to the vegetable tariff. What was the Supreme Court’s reasoning? Tomatoes have to be vegetables because they’re usually served with dinner, not dessert.

…makes jes about as much sense as anythin else what them politics folks decide on. We oughter jes send em all packin ta th’ Outer Banks an eat what we wanna eat when we wanna eat it. What in tarnation difference do it make iffen a tomter be fruit er not, ya still gonna eat it on yer burger an salad, an so is them there politickers.

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TRIVIA;

The arcade game Space Invaders was so popular in Japan that it actually created a coin shortage for a while.

…hmph. Talk bout a waste a money. They mus’ not have no more sense over in them ferrin spots then city folks does here. Ya kin tell it in t’ look a them anyhow, all little an skinny, cept fer them whatchacallit, sumo men folks. What someone oughter be teachin em is healthy cooking, ta git some meat on em, well, not them sumos. they be needin a diet, shore nuff.

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TRIVIA:

Colonel Sanders’ finger-lickin’ formula is locked away in a bank vault in Louisville, Ky. In fact, the KFC people are so serious about keeping the ingredients under wraps that two separate companies are used to blend the spices, so neither possesses the complete recipe.

…well now, ain’t that a fit. It ain’t like it’s even home cooked er nothin. I woulden be givin away m’ gramma’s cider recipes, but chicken be jes chicken. That there stuff, had some oncet, an it weren’t even hardly done. I kin make better wi’ m’ eyes clesed. But I be guessin them city folks got too much ta do ta bother wi’ a homecooked meal, so they be likin it well enuff. Jes goes ta show what ya lose when ya lives inna city.

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TRIVIA:

Unable to prevent the use of the word “spam” to represent unwanted email messages, the Hormel company now uses all-capital letters in referencing its canned pork product.

…dunno why they be wantin ta stop it anyhow. I read somewheres oncet that even bad publicity be good punlicity iffen it keep folks talkin bout what ya be sellin. I be guessin that’s why all them pollitickin folks got they signs up all over. Down t’ valley, cain’t walk two feet wi’out seein a politics sign. Folks even got em in they winders. T’ rich ones got em in they carports. Ya cain’t git away from it. I be bettin t’ spam folks done made a lot more money now that folks be usin they name ever day.

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TRIVIA:

Don’t tease the jaws of a Venus flytrap; each jaw can only close a few times before dying.

…them there mus be some kinda strange critter, ta only be able ta eat a few times afore dyin. Ain’t never heard a sech, mysel’. There been a heap a strange sights round our way lately, though. They done opened what they call a ridin’ stable over t’ next hill, fer city folks ta buy rides onna horse. They use two kind a saddle on them there horses too, t’ normal kind, an a strange lookin contraption they be callin english saddles, if I be recollectin proper. Ain’t never seen nothin like it. Up here, most folks don’ even bother wi’ a saddle no way. Easier ta feel what t’ horse is gonna do wi’out it. An I dunno bout YOU, but when I rides, I wanna KNOW iffen t’ horse be plannin on dumpin me in a prickly patch.

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TRIVIA:

Cheesecake was invented in Ancient Greece and served to athletes at the very first Olympic Games.

…ya don’ say. Nex’ time I eat it, I’ll think on that. I don’ eat it very much, only when we goes ta t’ city t’ see m’ boy, an he takes us out ta that there fancyy diner he like so much. Got a whole catalog a cheesecakes an cheese an sausage an stuff though. Lookin at t’ prices, they be mighty proud a what they sellin. It be a Christmas catalog. I got a ton a em inna mail aready. Not all cheescake. Some is toy deals, some is electronic deals, some is clothes deals, you name it, they thinks I got t’ money ta pay ten prices fer it.

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