Up Scheidt Creek

TRIVIA:

Cheetah, the chimpanzee that appeared in 12 Tarzan films, celebrated his 75th birthday in April 2007. He resides at a sanctuary in Palm Springs, California, for retired show business animals.

…Cousin Mable got her a collection a them there old movies. We done been down t’ see some a them, she asks us down from time t’ time. But this here last time, we most didden git ta watch t’ picture show cause she done got her some new home theater seating an that were all she wanted ta talk bout. Stuff were purty enuff, an kinda comfy, but we didden even git ta start ta show till it wwere purt near time ta come on back home.

TRIVIA:

If geysers were gold, Yellowstone would be a rich place. About half the geysers on Earth are located in the national park.

…y’know, Cousin Mable went ta that there Yellowstone Park jes ta see them there spots where t’ water comes out. She an her husband wound up havin ta camp out, cause they wasn’t a single one a them cheap hotels near it, seems they was all high price cause a the park. Don’ make no sense ta me why folks be payin so much ta sleep when they be a good nuff campsite nearby, that’s what. I dunno, reckon they don’ wanna chance sleepin near where hot water shoots up? Didden bother Cousin Mable none, but I kin see wheres some folks might get a little widgety.

TRIVIA:

In late 1975, Regis Philbin hosted a short-lived game show called The Neighbors, which was a sort of a Newlywed Game for soccer moms. Each episode featured a group of five women who shared neighborhood gossip about one another.

…ya don’ need no television show fer that. Ya jes need a backyard fence ta lean over, er iffen ya got no close neightbors, jes visit ole Jimmy Wooley, t’ car insurance guy. Twixt helpin compare car insurance and his bowlin nights he done found out everthin bout everbody. It be up ta you ta figger out iffen it be true er not. Me, I jes figgers most a it be… not. Safer thata way.

TRIVIA:

Ice Cream was served to new arrivals at Ellis Island. But because most people hadn’t encountered it before, they simply figured it was butter and spread it on their toast.

…guess they wasn’t servin nothin but vanilla. Makes ya wonder what folks would be thinkin’ iffen they was servin chocolate, don’ it? My oldest girl, she were allus big on ice cream, liked makin it an tryin differnt berries an sech in it. Ain’t never gonna fergit t’ time she made it wi’ her Grampa’s Elderberry wine. Decided she didden like it none an give it ta t’ pigs. We done had soused swine fer a week. Nowdays she be too busy wi’ makin stuff ta sell online, an her budgeting software fer her business. Shore been a while since she stopped by ta make ice cream.

TRIVIA:

There is actually a specific area of the brain known as the bilateral vomitation center. It notes when our tummy is upset and queasy, and it makes the final decision whether to barf or not to barf.

…well, now. I think I coulda gone t’ rest a my days wi’out knowin’ that there. Wonder where folks gits this stuff, anyhow. Sometimes I be thinkin they gots too much a that there internet stuff. My oldest girl, it all she be talkin bout jes now, cause she done found somewheres, authorize.net she calls it, what kin take in her money fer her or somethin when folks buys her stuff from far away. Don’ make no sense ta me, but she be right excited bout it all.

TRIVIA:

Under federal law, garment tags that contain the use-and-care instructions must last the lifetime of the garment, which is why most of those tags are so stiff and scratchy.

…do that mean I be breakin t’ law when I be cuttin em outa t’ clothes? Well, I don’ keer no way. Iffen they wanna arrest me fer bein comfy, that’s they business. Seem ta me someone prolly latched onta what they seen as a small business opportunity by convincin t’ govmint ta pass t’ law, then sellin t’ tags ta t’ clothin folks.

TRIVIA:

The first seedless grapes were kind of an accident. Thousands of years ago in the Middle East, a random genetic mutation caused a group of grapes to spontaneously abort their own seeds before the seeds could develop hard casings. The result: spitless produce. To reproduce the fruit, a sly farmer simply cloned the vine (with no seeds, there’s nothing to plant)—meaning that all seedless grapes today are direct descendants of that one mutated grape vine.

…I don’ much cotton ta grapes nohow, seeds er not. Like t’ painted kind though, like them on that there little statue inna corner. My Momma got that from t’ grape jelly folks when I were a kid, what they call one a them promotional items. I like that right enuff. But wi’ grapes ya git wine, wi’ wine ya git drunks, an we git nuff a that round here wi’ white lightnin, don’ need no extra help. They kin keep they grapes.

TRIVIA:

Mary Ann really was prettier than Ginger, at least in beauty pageant terms. Gilligan’s Island star Dawn Wells was beautiful and talented enough to represent Nevada in the 1960 Miss America pageant.

…I seen that there show a few times when I were a girl. I allus thought Mary Ann had more sense. If I’d a knowed she was one a them what parades theyselfs around in beauty contests I woulda thought differnt. It messes folks up. Shirley Mason’s middle girl, she used her winnins on one a them contests ta go ta college stead a settlin down, an now all she be talkin bout is designin stuff an needin more laptop memory ta handle it, whatever that mean. She even moved away, an her folks don’ hardly see her none.

TRIVIA:

You foot is the same size as the distance between your wrist and elbow. You can put you oot in that area and it will fit. Your forearm and foot are the same size.

…now, ya gotta wonder, who ta heck be havin time ta sit round an figger stuff like that out. An a better question be, what t’ heck differnce do it make? Shore ain’t gonna change yer life iffen yer foot an forearm be a couple inches differnt, now is it? I knowed a man oncet. Billy Orovo, who spent his time settin round thinkin on nonsense thangs alla time. He were all concerned wi’ whether er not t’ stars was ever gonna fall, er iffen t’ sun were gonna explode, sech as that. Seem ta me last I heard he were runnin fer t’ legislature, which should tell ya somethin bout what settin’ round thinkin on that kinda nonsense be gittin ya. Ain’t no worse crazies then them there politicals.

TRIVIA:

The largest collection of Christian relics outside of the Vatican is in Pittsburgh, PA. In the 19th century, a priest and doctor named Suitbert Mollinger became the parish priest of St. Anthony’s in Pittsburgh, and he soon took to gathering the saintly remains. By his death in 1892, he had 5,000 of them– including St. Anthony’s tooth and St. Ursula’s femur.

…well now, ya gotta wonder iffen collectin body parts a dead saints be a suitable thang fer a priest ta do, now doncha? I kin think a better hobbies, mysel’. T’ Baptist preacher down valley way, he collects stamps, t’ Luthern one, he be playin Cobra golf alla time, an t’ Methodist one be allus winnin prizes fer his flowers an gardenin. Whole lot better’n collectin pieces a folks, I be thinkin.